
You've spent the perfect day playing in the waves, building sand castles and developing that wind-tousled hairstyle.
How do Americans spend their Fourth of July weekend? Getting stuck in traffic.There's sand between your toes, salt in your hair and a little umbrella in your drink.
Whose favorite lyric in "The Star Spangled Banner" is “Oh say can you see”? An optometrist!. What has four legs, a shiny nose and fought for England? Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer. Which Founding Father is a puppy’s favorite? Bone Franklin. Who is the least guilty president? Lincoln – he’s in a cent!. What do fireworks eat when it’s hot out? Popsicles!. What’s a firework’s favorite song? “Pop it Like it’s Hot.”. Why did Paul Revere ride to Lexington on his horse? Well, the horse was too heavy to carry. Did you hear about the angry firework? He was so mad, he exploded!. What did the firework seller say to his colleague on July 4? Business is booming!. What did the revolutionaries wear to the Boston Tea Party? Tea-shirts. What do an American flag and a sad candy cane have in common? They’re both red, white and blue. Why can’t you skip out on the Fourth of July barbecue? It would be a missed-steak. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? On the bottom. What was Uncle Sam’s favorite snack? Fire crackers. What is the most patriotic dog breed? Yankee Poodles. What do you call a Fourth of July accident at Mount Rushmore? A monumental disaster. What do you call a red, white and blue pie? Pastry-otic. What did the little firecracker say to the big one? “Hi, Pop!”. What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say on Independence Day? May the fourth be with you!. Why couldn’t George Washington sleep at night? Because he couldn’t lie. What do firecrackers eat at the movies? Pop-corners. What do ducks love about the Fourth of July? Firequackers. What did the tourists say when they left the Statute of Liberty? Keep in torch!. Where did George Washington keep his armies? In his sleevies.
What’s the difference between George Washington and a duck? One of them has their face on a bill and the other one has a bill on their face. Why are there no Fourth of July knock-knock jokes? Because freedom rings. What do you call a patriotic cartoonist? A Yankee Doodler. What do you call a snowman on the Fourth of July? A puddle. Where is the capital in Washington, D.C.? At the beginning. What is the best sport to play on the Fourth of July? Flag football. What happens if you cross a Declaration signer and a rooster? John Hancock-a-doodle-doo. What has feathers, webbed feet, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? The duck-laration of happiness. What’s red, white, blue and green? A seasick Uncle Sam. Who doesn’t get a day of July 4? Fire – fire works. Who was the dog that announced, “The British are coming”? Paw Revere. What do you eat on July 5th? Independence Day-old pizza. What did the ghost say on the Fourth of July? Red, white and boo. What happens when you cross a stegosaurus with a firework? Dino-myte!. Was the Declaration of Independence written in Philadelphia? No, it was written in ink!.
What did one flag say to the other? Nothing, it just waved!.Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army? Laugh-ayette.What was the popular dance in 1776? The indepen-dance.
Beach caption puns cracked#
Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell? It cracked me up!.What do you call a duck who says ‘bang’? A firequacker.Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in the New York harbor? It can’t sit.What is red, white, black and blue? Uncle Sam when he takes a tumble down the stairs.Why do Bigelow employees like the Fourth of July so much? They love to celebrate liber-tea!.Whether you’re celebrating with a hot dog on the beach, by watching the fireworks or just by reading up on American history, here are a few clever quips to include in your Independence Day greetings. Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell? It cracked me up! Don’t roll your eyes just yet – these Fourth of July jokes and memes may be just the thing to send your visiting relatives into a laughing fit or to add a little liveliness to your Facebook timeline.